Don’t let your emotions get the better of your mind …
14 September 2019
In every married couple, sooner or later, there comes a time when one or both of its members are dissatisfied with the behavior or attitude of the other. It is not always possible to endure unpleasant moments, close our eyes to the incorrect or unpleasant behavior of a partner and suppress resentment and irritation in oneself, and does not lead to anything good in the end. Problems need to be solved in the course of a dialogue, but often aggression, resentment and misunderstanding cannot be avoided.
Marina Abravitova
First of all, you need to prepare in advance to talk about problems with your significant other..
First, choose the right time and place. The atmosphere should be conducive to a comfortable conversation, there should be no strangers around, there should be enough time for both of them. Secondly, formulate the essence of the problem in advance in order to calmly and clearly express it, and not try to find the right words already during the conversation. Think about the arguments, remember suitable examples of situations that caused your dissatisfaction.
In order for your partner to hear and understand you correctly, do not throw dry claims, but supplement them with an explanation of your unpleasant emotions and thoughts.
Understand that the situation that will be discussed in the conversation, most likely, seems problematic only to you, and not to your partner, otherwise he would hardly have allowed it. But the negative emotions you are experiencing as a result of this situation is already a reason for your partner to take a step towards correction..
Starting to sort things out with loved ones, in no case put pressure on the feeling of guilt, but concentrate on the essence of the problem being discussed.
Accusations will not be helpful, but you can provoke a defensive reaction from your partner and hear reprimands or refusal to continue the conversation. Therefore, without appealing to your partner’s feelings of guilt, go to the heart of the matter and state your wishes..
Don’t let your emotions take over your mind.
At the very least, this can lead to the fact that you will not be able to draw the right conclusions or clearly express your point of view. In the worst case, the dialogue can turn into an ordinary quarrel with shouts and exchange of insults. Start a conversation with a cool head, and if you feel that it becomes very difficult to contain emotions, take a break in the conversation to cool down and then continue..
Remember: a word is not a sparrow.
If the intensity of emotions during the conversation still could not be avoided, it is better to end the dialogue altogether than to allow yourself and your partner to offend each other. Mutual attacks during an argument can have very dire consequences for your relationship, because sometimes a word can hurt very much. Not only direct insults, but also other manifestations of disrespect, such as sarcasm and barbs, should not be allowed in the dialogue.
On the other hand, it is necessary to understand that words expressed under the influence of negative emotions may not have anything to do with truth at all. Most often, insults during a quarrel are an elementary defensive reaction and a way to throw out the accumulated negativity, and not a worthless opinion of a person. With that in mind, don’t jump off your shoulder or jump to conclusions when you hear words that hurt you. Take some time out and come back to the conversation later..
When making claims to your partner, do not be surprised or angry if you hear them in response..
No wonder there is an opinion that two people are to blame for any family problems. Most often it is. In those moments with which you are unhappy, most likely, there is your fault, be ready to understand and admit it. It is impossible to solve family problems alone..
Remember that you and your partner, although you are one whole, are different people, if only because one of you is a man and the other is a woman..
Whatever one may say, you have a different type of thinking, different temperaments and different perceptions of the same things. Find an individual approach to your partner, unique keys to understanding your thoughts and feelings for your partner. During the conversation, do not hesitate to tell your soulmate about your love and remember that there are practically no insoluble problems and conflicts..