Don’t hold back your tears: why is it sad after sex

Today, more and more men and women are starting to complain that after sex they feel depressed and upset. And the point is not that everyone is undermined by the financial crisis and the flu – it has always been that way, but it was customary to keep silent about it.

Real stories

“After sex, instead of euphoria and joy, I feel empty and sad. And it’s not that I’m unhappy with the way the sex went, or who it happened to. An orgasm can be enchanting, but after it a feeling of hopelessness can roll over me, ”says 27-year-old Irina, who is in the process of looking for a permanent man..

Catherine, who has been in a happy marriage for three years, speaks of such feelings. She admits that after having sex with her beloved husband, she often feels apathetic and depressed: “After we break away from each other, my mood drops to zero and can stay there for several days.”.

Lack of logic

We expect relaxation and happiness from sex. In fact, he is programmed for this, because in the process of lovemaking, hormones of happiness are produced and the muscles are completely relaxed. And this is only from the point of view of physiology. But there is also a psycho-emotional component: during sex, we feel that we are incredibly close and frank with another person who also opens up to meet us. So what’s the deal? Why does mental anguish occur after such a powerful antidepressant activity? The answer lies not in psychology, as it might seem at first glance, but in physiology.

Modernity has nothing to do with it

Nature has a surprise for us. Sexologists have already nicknamed him poscoital blues (“sadness after intimacy”). But this is not an invention of our time – post-orgasmic anxiety and sadness tormented the ancient Greeks. Proof of this is the statement of the ancient physician Galen: “After intercourse, all animals are sad, except for roosters and women.” Perhaps the Greek was not a great connoisseur of the fair sex, since he did not take into account their mental anguish.

The thing is that orgasm causes strong positive changes in the body, but after the highest point of pleasure has been passed, the body is forced to return to its normal state. And in contrast to the euphoria just experienced, the norm begins to seem insufficient.

At the chemical level

During orgasm, the brain regions involved in dopamine production are activated. This is a hormone that is released when we have pleasure, for example, it is actively produced at the moment when we feel in love. This is the conclusion reached by the biologist Gert Holstege. Also, during orgasm, the activity of the amygdala, which is responsible for the feeling of fear, is significantly reduced..

And after the storm of happiness and fun subsides, the activity of the amygdala, responsible for fear, increases, we find ourselves face to face with progressive anxiety. Compare this to a hangover after a stormy and incredibly fun party..

It’s in the head

So don’t worry if you suddenly feel upset after sex. It’s not that you chose the wrong thing and that he did everything wrong, but only in your physiology. It’s just that some people tolerate hormonal storms calmly, and some painfully. And if you belong to the second category, do not rush to complain to your girlfriends or doctors. Just wait it out when your precious brain rebuilds from one state to another..