Sometimes the desire to get married is so strong that we stop noticing the obvious, make a lot of mistakes and thereby scare off our partner. What typical mistakes we make in relationships with men and how to avoid them, Wday tells Anetta Orlova, psychologist, candidate of sociological sciences.
Turning the desire to get married into an obsession
When you start to see marriage as a goal, you become “zombified” by this thought. Men instantly read your mood and seek to retreat. The fact is that they are extremely afraid of losing the independence they possess. When communicating with you, men feel that you are not disposed to simple flirting and play and understand that here, in addition to entertainment, you will still have to take on some responsibility.
What to do?
For a start, relax. Sign up for dancing, start traveling, learn languages. Fill your life and enjoy it. Well, talk less about yourself on the first date, about your dreams and that you are striving to get married, considering only a serious relationship.
Looking for the ideal
Women often build castles in the air and represent magical princes capable of feats. Many continue to search for their ideal all their lives, but they never find it. Because in life, unfortunately, our heroes often throw socks all over the house, they cannot hang a shelf or change a light bulb..
What to do?
You should not expect something special from your beloved, draw utopian pictures. Let go of your obsession with nurturing your ideal partner to look like perfect. It will not happen. As soon as there are educational notes, reproaches and remarks in your voice, your partner will want to run away from you. Look at life from the other side. Try to develop with a man, improve and accept your loved one with all his shortcomings.
You yourself are too perfect
Men are very wary of a beautiful, intelligent, and even a kind girl. They believe that such a woman is just a fiction or a cunning bitch who hides and disguises herself well..
What to do?
In order to interest, hold and take possession of not only the heart of the chosen one, but also his ring finger, it is necessary to remember about moderation. You should not resort to extremes in self-presentation and demonstrate all your strengths and a huge arsenal of advantages at once. Showing your strength is also pointless. No man wants to have a courageous woman next to him. By nature itself, he was created to protect, protect and care for a gentle female creature. Therefore, please be weaker and stop trying on a man’s attire and demonstrate exclusively positive qualities and dignity from which men run..
Behave available
Men are hunters, so the process of conquest is very important for them. Men have some ideas in their heads, by analogy with files that say – “a woman for friendship”, “a woman for love”, “a woman for entertainment.” The most difficult thing is to move from one column to another, but this is also possible.
What to do?
The most important thing when his call, which can be heard in a month or two, is not to run headlong, but, on the contrary, to flirt slightly, as if you had no intimate connection.
Limit freedom
Often, men are ready to give their beloved woman all material goods much easier than parting with the most precious thing – their freedom. Men want to love, but are not ready to let him into their space and endure the restrictions that will enter his life with his chosen one. Many women are overly active in their relationships with their beloved. They fill the entire space. There are so many of them that a man is ready for anything just to relax and not see next to him the one who wants to become the center of his universe..
What to do?
Weaken the pressure, reduce activity. Let the man have the opportunity to take a break from your energy in the company of his friends, give him a weekend away from yourself. You should not strive for mergers and acquisitions. You don’t need to limit a man and try to spend every second together. Give your partner the opportunity to periodically breathe the air of freedom and feel like the master of his life..
Talk about the past
Men are afraid, when a woman begins to touch the past, to talk about what an unfortunate fate haunted her. A man wants positive emotions from his companion, to rest his soul, and not bother with endless female problems.
What to do?
You should not dump the heavy burden of a far from joyful life inheritance on men’s shoulders. Be light, witty, funny and mysterious. Discuss a joint future, but not straightforward and clearly, but in a feminine way, subtly and thoughtfully. Start with your next vacation plans together. Talk about spending the weekend with friends, going bowling in the evening, thinking about renovating or changing the interior of your home. A common cause brings together and forces you to act harmoniously and together, making you a single mechanism in achieving a common goal. The main thing is not to forget about the positive attitude and try not to dramatize..
Dating a married
Initially, this connection seems pleasant to you, but over time it can develop into a serious problem. You become attached to a person, feel jealousy, resentment and hope that your chosen one is about to divorce. And the reality is that the average man who has not left his family after a year and a half of relationship with his mistress, most likely, will never do this..
What to do?
The role of a lover will not relieve the anxiety associated with loneliness, will not allow the dream of a full-fledged family to come true. A woman faced with this problem needs to determine how much she needs this man. Is it love or just passion? If the latter, then it is better to end this relationship immediately..